Bad Ole Men

Part 2 America on Shaky Ground

Last week a guest speaker opened her remarks with an obvious excuse.  She told a large gathering that “covid protocols” prevented her from attending in person. I suspected then she was full of it and was on alert for more.  I didn’t have to wait long.  She proceeded to explain when she was in meetings with men “her voice was not heard” and that other women would help her employ strategies so men “would hear her voice”.  Let’s put our boots on and wade in.  

As someone who has always worked in male dominated fields and was typically the only woman in a testosterone filled conference room, I can say with certainty that I rarely had a problem with my voice being heard.  If my message was not initially understood, I wondered how to communicate more effectively.  People process information differently and one’s style has to be adjusted accordingly.  These differences do not necessarily break on gender lines although, news flash, men and women are different.  Even with an appropriate communication strategy, failure can occur for reasons that have nothing to do with gender.  The listener can be a jerk, have extreme ADD or be one of those manic talkers incapable of listening.  Regardless of the countless factors that contribute to failure, in some quarters it’s always the bad ole men who prohibit women’s “voices from being heard”.  Women are the victims and men are the oppressors in this corrosive narrative.

Sadly some women have been actual victims at the hands of truly bad men.  These women are real victims through no fault of their own.  Victim/oppressor ideology attempts to project the no fault reality of the genuine victim to all women.  If a woman buys into this theory, she has no personal responsibility for bad outcomes in the conference room or life.  It’s the oppressor’s fault.  They get away with it because good folks will never ascribe blame to real victims and it’s just so hard to tell the difference between real and ideological victims these days.  As a result people have stayed silent and allowed this con job to take root.  

Conversely, traits of actual bad men are projected to all those in the targeted oppressor group and viola, all men, including good men, become victimizers and misogynists.  A casual observation of the men we know proves the lie of gender based oppressor theory.  

This concept is not new.  When I started out 40 years ago, a few folks dangled the victim card in my face.  I swatted it away like a bad smell.  I was focused on achievement and had no use for “poor pitiful me” ideology.  Even then our society had progressed to a place where women had the opportunity to advance unfettered should they choose to do so.  In fact, a competent woman in a male dominated industry actually had the advantage.  In order to recognize this, however, it was essential to have the correct perspective.  I believed in my ability to succeed and remained focused on the goal.  Equally important the source of my failures could be found in the mirror.  That isn’t to say that I was free of insecurities. Like all humans, I had plenty and perhaps more than most.  But insecurities were my baggage to offload, not an amorphous self-limiting ideology that cast me as a victim.  

One difference between then and now is victimology has gone mainstream infecting Americans of all ages including young impressionable minds.  Should we encourage our daughters to view themselves as oppressed or teach the concept of personal responsibility? Do we want them to fear there is an oppressor behind every male face?  Or should we teach them to evaluate the character of both men and women acknowledging there are good and bad of each?  Should we teach our sons they are bad simply because some stranger with questionable motives has labeled them an oppressor?  Or should we teach them how to think?  Should we ensure young people understand the prerequisites of success or turn them into victims trapped below a self-imposed glass ceiling?  

Victim/oppressor ideology divides us horribly.  Consider how real victims feel towards their attackers.  Now imagine that negativity and distrust percolating in the newly oppressed ideological victims.  As we see on the news daily, it is disastrous for America and puts us on very shaky ground indeed.  

A more insidious and equally dangerous result is a culture of mediocrity.  How can anyone possibly be the best they can be if bad outcomes are always someone else’s fault?   How does an individual learn and grow without the benefit of acknowledging and examining their own mistakes and poor choices?  Victim/oppressor ideology therefore stunts growth potentially reducing the chance of success.  Dampening the achievements and ambitions of individuals results in mediocrity or worse.  As the number of achievers declines, the overall success of America will diminish and with this comes destabilization. 

Luckily for the propagation of our species, the gender chapter of the victim/oppressor club has not attracted wholesale membership.  We women like our men and do not take kindly to painting our good men with a bad ole man brush.   The race chapter however is growing at an alarming rate…

Shaky Ground Summary

As a reminder we will only examine what is happening and leave why unasked for now.  Below is a summary of destabilizing factors addressed in this and the previous article in the America on Shaky Ground series.  

• Part 1 – Division and distrust caused by the prohibition of gathering.
• Part 2 – Division and distrust caused by separating women and men into victims and oppressors.  

Notes

The phrase “prerequisites of success” was lifted from one of America’s great critical thinkers, Thomas Sowell.  I highly recommend “Discrimination and Disparities” for an excellent discussion on this topic.